


Nice Guys Finish Last

by She_comes_to_me_when_I_dream



Category: Fall Out Boy, Mean girls - Fandom, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Ryden - Fandom, petetrick - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-07-29 06:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7673401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/She_comes_to_me_when_I_dream/pseuds/She_comes_to_me_when_I_dream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan's new to Chicago's Northshore High, coming all the way from Las Vegas, Nevada. He's not cool. He's never been cool. He probably never will be and he's okay with that. it's not really his thing. But then Pete Wentz, Gerard Way, and Patrick Stump, the three most popular guys in all of Northshore High, who are always chillin' with the school wiccans for some reason ask Ryan to start hanging out with them and Ryan discovers that being cool might not actually be what it seems.</p><p> </p><p>Mean Girls/Rhymes With Witches AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I DON'T own the people in this fic. I DON'T claim to. I don't own the plot of Mean Girls or the plot elements I am borrowing from the book Rhymes With Witches. Those belong fully to the writers behind them and all credit for them goes to the writers behind them. This is fanfic. This story is not real and never happened.

One

 

i_am_clandestine: spence. I'm not cool, am I?

 

petsalamander: god ryan. ur not about to get all pretentious on me are u? i didn't think  
u needed me to fucking confirm how much of a hipster u are.

 

i_am_clandestine: Fuck off. I'm asking because fucking Patrick Stump fucking walked up to  
me today and was telling me that I should hang out with him.

 

i_am_clandestine: And I'm cooler than you.

 

petsalamander: i don't know who the hell that is? have u forgotten we dont go to the same  
school anymore? u moved to chicago like three months ago. but yes ross, ur  
the lamest person i know. u fucking use proper grammar when u im. ur the  
biggest, most hipsterist hipster i know. happy???

 

i_am_clandestine: Fuck you. 

 

i_am_clandestine: Look, this is gonna sound stupid and lame but Patrick Stump is really fuckin  
cool. People fucking gravitate toward him.

 

petsalamander: they "gravitate" toward him??? he's not a planet ryan.

 

i_am_clandestine: Chill Spencer. It's seriously the only word I can think of to describe it. You  
would get it if you were here. People just gravitate toward him and Pete  
Wentz and Gerard Way.

 

petsalamander: i don't know who the fuck those people are.

 

i_am_clandestine: Shut the hell up. I'm gonna send you some links so you do know. And  
they're really fucking cool. Everybody fucking wants to hang out with  
them here.

 

i_am_clandestine: Patrick's the blonde guy. Pete's wearing the red hoodie. Gerard's the really  
emo looking one.

 

petsalamander: um pete looks pretty emo too??? and why do you have these photos ryan???

 

i_am_clandestine: They're from Pete's blog. Calm the fuck down. Just fucking tell me why  
one of the coolest guys in school wants to hang out with me? I'm not  
gonna lie, they're all insanely hot but why would he come up to me?

 

petsalamander: maybe he wants to bone a poor pretentious emo loner and he's into weird  
shit and u looked like a good candidate because ur you and ur the new kid  
who would never see it coming.

 

i_am_clandestine: Fuck you. He's not the type. And if I'm honest, I think from looking at  
Pete's blog, that he and Pete might have a thing.

 

petsalamander: ur stalking his blog??? god ryan. u really are lame. and he did look kind of  
nerdy compared to the other two. u two would probably be great boyfriends.  
all u have to do is steal him from super cool pete wentz. good luck.

 

i_am_clandestine: You suck. I don't want to do Patrick. There's another guy I have my eye on,  
thanks.

 

petsalamander: im gonna go before u start gushing all over me about him. i gotta shit ton of  
math homework i gotta do anyway for tomorrow. let me know if blondie tries  
to bone ya. just say NO ryan.

 

i_am_clandestine: You really do suck Spencer. At least let me tell you his name. It's Brendon  
Urie and he's really hot. Hotter than Pete even.

 

petsalamander: goodbye ryan. have sweet gay dreams about brendon urie.

 

_ _ _

"Ryan. Ryan Ross."

It took Ryan more than a moment to turn around from his desk where he was packing his stuff back into his bag at the end of AP English.

Pete Wentz was talking to him. The Pete Wentz that was friends with Patrick Stump. Why the hell was Pete Wentz talking to him? Ryan pushed the thoughts about Spencer saying that Patrick was probably trying to come on to him and that Pete was pissed about it out of his head because one, Pete didn't seemed pissed at him and two, they were stupid anyway.

"Come on." Pete threw his own bag over one shoulder when Ryan was finally facing him. "Patrick told me he talked to you yesterday. We want you to sit with us at lunch."

"Why? I mean thanks but why me? Sorry if that came out rude but you don't even know me."

"Because I'm a nice person, that's why. And I don't bite Ryan, even though you're extrememly biteable."

Ryan really hoped he wasn't blushing as Pete buttoned his green military jacket and turned around. He led the way into the hall and toward the cafeteria and Ryan followed, not really sure where all this was heading. First Pete had spoken with him and now he was flirting? Ryan was brand new to Northshore. He had only been there for barely a month. Why had he even blipped on the radar for Pete?

_ _ _

"Hey, who is this?" A blonde girl in with a red headband, big black glasses, and a necklace that had several raw crystals hanging off of it who was sitting across from Patrick and Gerard Way, greeted Pete cheerfully, gesturing at Ryan. "Is he with you guys now?"

Maybe it wasn't so weird for Pete and Patrick and Gerard to want to hang out with Ryan if one of the wiccans that were even bigger hipsters than Ryan that Ryan had seen and learned to identify over the course of his short time at his new school, was hanging out with them. Hipsters and wiccans just didn't seem like the type that would be hanging out with guys who were clearly the most popular people in the school but then again, Ryan had never seen people like Pete, Gerard, and Patrick ever hold that position with popularity so maybe it wasn't so odd. The social hierarchy at Northshore was strange.

"Not yet. But hopefully soon." Pete grinned, moving to the other side of the table and taking the seat between Patrick and Gerard. He snatched a fry off of Patrick's tray.

"Pete. Can you like, get your own food?" Patrick swatted him away.

"Chill Trick. You know I can't mooch off Gerard. He's fucking weird about food."

"I was fucking bulimic for almost two years. Of course I'm fucking weird about food." Gerard rolled his lined green eyes. 

"Okay. No need to get heavy Way. You're over that now and that's what's important. You have good days and bad days and all that." Pete said. "And sit down Ryan. Don't let Gerard scare you."

Ryan sat in the chair farthest from the blonde girl.

"Ryan, that's my friend Greta." Pete told him. "Greta, Ryan. Ryan, Greta. You don't have to act like she has T.B or something. You can sit next to her."

Patrick gave Pete a look. "Stop giving him a hard time."

"Oh would you rather me give you are hard time?" Pete shot back, his hazel eyes bright, the comment loaded, a massive smirk on his face. "You don't have to be jealous Patrick. You know I'm yours."

"I'm not." Patrick snorted, trying to conceal a smile.

Well. That certainly confirmed Ryan's suspicions of Pete and Patrick having a thing.

"Sure you're not Patrick. But anyway, Ryan, we want you to join the group and start hanging out with us."

"What?" Ryan asked, cringing at his own awkwardness. They wanted him to join their friend group? Where had this even come from? Ryan wasn't cool. He knew that. He didn't even have the potential to be cool. He thought popularity was stupid and for people who had no real friends and just wanted to feel superior to others for whatever dumb reasons they thought they had.

That isn't to say he felt that way about Pete and Patrick and Gerard. They were all very nice people and he didn't feel that way about them at all but they didn't really fit the typical popular type. He liked them as much as everyone else at Northshore seemed to.

"This is a really big deal." Gerard jumped in. "Just so you know. And it's not a done deal. We'll only know that after you come with us to Saporta's party Friday. If you come."

"...Okay..." Ryan said slowly.

"Of course Ryan will come." Pete said confidently. "It's a fucking party. Who the fuck turns down a party? Especially when it's thrown by Gabe Saporta-"

"You guys, I would hate to interrupt your planning but I really need that stuff you were supposed to give me." Greta said, cutting him off.

"We know. Here." Pete reached into his bag and dug around for something and Ryan was extremely surprised when he handed her a plain blue pen. It seemed like Pete should have been hunting for something more than a pen considering how much time he had taken to find it.

Gerard slid a stick of gum from the pocket of his jeans to her and Ryan couldn't help the way his eyebrow shot up when Patrick gave her a stick of opened chapstick.

What the hell?

Greta made a face as she slid the pen and the gum and the chapstick into the front pocket of her purse, avoiding looking at the chapstick. "Thank you."  
She stood up. "You owe me Patrick. For touching that. It was opened."

Greta put her fringed satchel on and left them.

Ryan couldn't help but wonder what the hell had just happened and what the hell that girl could possibly want with a pen, a stick of gum, and the capped but definitely used chapstick, along with why it was so important for the three items to be given to her.

He wondered all through the lunch period as Pete and Gerard and Patrick talked to him about himself.


	2. Two

Two

 

i_am_clandestine: Pete Wentz wants me to fucking party with him. You need to fucking talk to me because what the fuck is going on Spencer?

 

petsalamander: i told u blondie wanted to bone u. he probably wants a threesome LMFAO

 

i_am_clandestine: Would you shut the fuck up with that!!! 

 

i_am_clandestine: oh god Pete told me I was biteable today. Spencer oh my god. :/

 

petsalamander: told u. ;) and ew. no offense but why would anyone want to bang u??? just say NO ryan. like this is fucking dare or some shit.

 

i_am_clandestine: Can you please be serious?!

 

petsalamander: but ryan, i thought they were all insanely hot??? ;)

 

i_am_clandestine: Fuck you. And stop with the winky faces.

 

i_am_clandestine: Why the hell do they want to party with me this weekend?!!!

 

petsalamander: yeah partying isn’t really ur thing ryan. in case u didn’t know. ur more of the hide in the library writing bad emo poetry type.

 

i_am_clandestine: Fuck off. This year is starting waaay too weird. Wtf is happening to me??? I can’t wait for this year to be over so I can fly back to Vegas this summer and we can chill and things can be normal.

 

petsalamander: god ryan. ur so melodramatic. But yeah, how’s ur aunt?

 

i_am_clandestine: Old and middle aged as usual. But she’s okay. Living with her is pretty chill.

 

petsalamander: that’s good. we wouldn’t want ur usual ross melodrama stemming from actual problems.

 

i_am_clandestine: I’m flipping you off right now. Just so you know. With two fingers.

 

petsalamander: oh no. my best friend flipped me off. oh no what will i do??? i am so offended and hurt. 

 

petsalamander: seriously ryan. just go party. just go be a cool kid. make new friends. come out of your hole and see the sunlight.

 

i_am_clandestine: Fuck you. And "Be a cool kid???" Really Spencer???

 

petsalamander: STFU I SAW IT. god i can’t believe i just said cool kid. but it’s not a big deal. U don’t have to be so dramatic over everything all the time. getting drunk would probably do u good.

_ _ _

 

Pete took Ryan in for a long moment from the passenger’s side of Patrick’s car on Friday night. “Are you wearing glasses?”

Ryan felt himself cringing internally. He nodded.

The glasses weren’t his first choice but he had taken his contacts out when he had gotten home from school so he could try to make himself chill out and maybe take a nap -at which he was not successful- before he had to shower and figure out what the hell he was going to wear to this thing tonight. Ryan had taken so long on clothes that he never had the time to deal with putting his contacts back in.

Ryan couldn’t even say he was being a chick because he knew no girl was as pathetic as he was while trying to put together something to wear for tonight and he couldn’t insult girls by saying they were. The closest thing Ryan had ever done to partying was have a little bit of whatever was in Spencer’s parents liquor cabinet while chilling at Spencer’s place or smoke a joint. And he didn’t even do that a lot.

What did people even wear to parties? He knew they weren’t black tie formal or something dumb like that (because come on, this was a bunch of tenth, eleventh, and twelfth graders getting drunk along with some of them hooking up on whatever halfway secluded surface they could find), but he also knew people wanted to look good when they were seen at one.

“Chill.” Pete grinned. “I’m just dicking around with you. You look fine. Get in the car. We have to get all the way over to Pilsen.”

Ryan was wearing black skinny jeans and a white shirt and a leather jacket. He ended up dressing pretty basic and going back to the bones of his wardrobe and had styled his hair even more than he usually did to compensate. Now he hoped he didn’t look too basic. 

Pete and Patrick and Gerard didn’t look basic. Patrick didn’t even look nerdy tonight. Then again, it wouldn't have mattered if Patrick had looked nerdy because Patrick's usual nerdiness looked good for him in a way that nobody else would be able to pull off for some reason. He was wearing a jacket similar to Ryan's and made Ryan pale in comparison by far.

Ryan slipped into the back seat with Patrick.

"Fucking finally." Gerard huffed and began driving away from Ryan's aunt's house. "You need to fucking relax Ryan. We're not going to make you get shitfaced drunk and do hard drugs or something."

"We'd prefer if you didn't." Pete informed Ryan, turning around. "We would prefer you to have some level of class if you're going to start hanging out with us."

"Yeah. I'm not driving tonight if any of you start throwing up all over everyone." Patrick warned everyone. "I will fucking take your damn car Gerard and then the three of you will be on your own. I'm not gonna be the only sober person in a group of throwing up people."

_ _ _

 

"So you've been tapped?" A petite girl with long flowing blonde hair and dark red lips who was wearing a very mod black dress said to Ryan from a sofa in Gabe Saporta's living room, stopping him from continuing his aimless, bored wandering in the mass of people who were total strangers to him.

This girl was even more hipster than Pete's friend Greta.

"Tapped?"

"Pete and Patrick and Gerard asked you to hang with them. My name's Elizabeth. Zee. Sit."

Ryan took the spot next to her and the party and the drinking continued to rage all around them. She was the first person here that he had talked to all night.

"Greta told me they were looking at you, Ryan."

"What are you talking about?" Ryan was trying not to get weirded out. Tapped? Pete and Patrick and Gerard were looking at him? What the hell was this wiccan chick on about? Ryan didn't know how many times he had to push Spencer's remarks about Pete and Patrick wanting to bone him out of his head in the past week but he had to do it again with the word tapped. God. Now this Elizabeth girl was talking about how Pete and Patrick and Gerard were "looking at him." Hopefully this wasn't all a ruse to get Ryan into bed.

"I was tapped too."

Okay. Now the prospects of Pete and Patrick not just hanging out with Ryan to try and get in his pants were really bad.

"It didn't work out. I would stay away from them."

"Why? Do they want to bone me or something?" Ryan snorted, hoping he sounded more certain than he felt.

"They don't want to bone you. But I'm just telling you. I would stay away from them. You'll see."

"Don't you hang around them? You're friends with Greta, right?"

"I'm friends with Greta. But Pete and Patrick and Gerard and me have an understanding. I stay out their way and they stay out of mine."

"They seem nice enough. And if they aren't trying to get me to bone them then you haven't really given me a reason to not hang out with them." Ryan said, if somewhat questioningly. Maybe Elizabeth was a jealous ex-girlfriend or something.

"I guess there isn't really a reason not to hang out with them. They aren't doing anything gross or sinster or whatever you're probably thinking because of what I just said. But you're probably gonna get screwed over. Just like my friend Frank. He got tapped too. He was with them before me. For a long time too."

"Yeah. I'll remember that." Ryan said; eager to leave this conversation.

"You'll see Ryan."

"Okay." Ryan got up and left and universe be praised, he saw Patrick across the room by the stairs.

"So... I saw you talking to Zee." Patrick cut right to the point as Ryan approached. If Ryan was honest, it sort of startled him. He didn't let himself think about whatever might be between Elizabeth and Patrick and the others because there was definitely something if Patrick was bringing it unprompted the way he was. His theory of her being a jealous ex for one of them was probably right anyway.

"Dude. I don't know. She just started talking to me about crap."

Patrick snorted. "Probably stoned. Greta is like perpetually stoned all the time. And Zee hangs out enough with her."

Ryan hadn't even considered that idea. The wiccans did like their weed. Hell, Ryan liked his weed. Yeah. It was either stoned or jealous ex.

"Look. I was looking for you Ryan. Pete finally found Saporta. So... you should meet him."

_ _ _

 

"Do I know you?" Gabe Saporta stared blankly at Ryan from under the hood of his bright purple hoodie which somehow the latino guy made work.

"Uh." Ryan shifted awkwardly. "Patrick told me to talk to you."

"Pete told me you were easy to mess with." Gabe smirked. "Ryan Ross, right?" The tension fizzled out of Ryan but he had had more than enough of people messing with him tonight.

"Saporta, are you over here being rude?" Pete turned around from some other guy he was talking to a few feet away.

"Fuck off Wentz. I'm never rude."

"You're telling me to fuck off. That's pretty rude."

"Fuck off."

"Do I have to fuck off too? Or is that just Pete?"

Ryan's heart hammered as he saw the face of the guy Pete was talking to. It was Brendon fucking Urie who was walking over and closing the gap between the them.

"Maybe I should have you fuck off by association Brendon."

Brendon was even hotter up close and in person than he was in Ryan's Math and History classes where he sat practically on the opposite side of the room.

Brendon pouted at Gabe's answer. "But then I wouldn't get to meet whoever it is that you're talking to. And he's pretty."

Ryan really hoped the light was dim enough to cover how pink he knew his face was. Brendon, the guy he had been pining after in secret since he had started at Northshore at the beginning of September, had just called him good looking. His heart was going to beat out of his rib cage.


	3. Three

Three

 

i_am_clandestine: I got Brendon's number.

 

i_am_clandestine: So suck on that.

 

petsalamander: EW

 

i_am_clandestine: Whatever. You're fucking jealous Spencer.

 

petsalamander: i have a gf ryan. remember? im not jealous of u.

 

petsalamander: and it's like 2:30am. im going to bed. some of us dont spend our entire night drinking and shit. so why dont u go bother brendon.

 

i_am_clandestine: I might.

 

petsalamander: EW. dont have phone sex ryan. it's not classy.

 

i_am_clandestine: Fuck off. Go to bed. Goodnight.

 

_ _ _

 

“Come on loser; we gotta go to your house!” Pete called to Ryan the second he saw him in the student parking lot from the backseat of Gerard’s car. School had just let out that Monday afternoon.

Pete had texted Ryan that he and Patrick and Gerard would be going over to his place the night before. This was after not hearing from any of them the entire weekend. Ryan had been pretty distracted with Brendon and texting him anyway so he had been able to put Pete and everyone on the back burner but as soon as Wentz had sent him odd cryptic texts about sealing the deal or whatever, the three had been the only thing Ryan had been able to think about. It had made school drag on ridiculously today.

“What’s your address, Ryan?” Gerard asked as Ryan shut the car door. “Where are we going?”

Ryan gave him his aunt’s North Side address.

“Ooh North Side. Ritzy. So your aunt’s got money?” Pete teased. “I don’t live anywhere that nice. I’m out in the suburbs. In Wilmette.”

“It’s an old brick two bedroom, two bath house Pete. I wouldn’t call it money.”

“In the North Side, that’s money. She has money. How did you even get here anyway Ryan? We know you come from Las Vegas but how did you come to one of the richest neighborhoods in Chicago?”

“Home, uh, wasn’t ideal.” Ryan shifted in his seat, picking at the fabric of it. “So I live with my aunt now.”

He didn’t say anything else about it and Pete read on his face not to ask.

_ _ _

 

“I assume you do want to start hanging out with us? I mean, we’re at your house.” Pete said. The four had flopped down in random places in Ryan’s living room. A sense of seriousness had overtaken the empty house moments afterward. Why on Earth were Pete and Gerard and Patrick acting like Ryan was about to undergo heart surgery or something?

“Well. I wouldn’t have invited you all to my house.” Ryan answered pointedly.

“That’s what I just said.” Pete grinned.

“God Wentz, will you get to the point?” Gerard rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, go suck a dick Way. Anyway, Ryan, you want to hang out with us, right? I’m asking again because you really need to think about your answer because if you say yes, everything we tell you remains secret. It’s not a whim type of thing.”

“God.” This time it was Patrick who complained. “It’s not fucking animal sacrifice or something Pete.”

Pete looked horrified. “Ew. Trick that’s fucking gross. Where do get this shit half the time? You’re like all sweetness and sunshine.”

He turned his attention back on Ryan. “So… what’s your answer Ryan?”

“I like you guys?” Ryan still had no idea where any of this was going. “You seem okay. As long as you aren’t trying to get in my pants, yeah, I’ll hang out with you.”

“We don’t want to get in your pants.” Patrick refuted him. “Pete would have seduced you already if that’s what he wanted.”

“I don’t want in your pants.” Pete confirmed, smile even bigger. “And anyway, excellent. You’re gonna need Greta’s phone number so let me give it to you. Give me your phone.”

Ryan fished his phone out of his jeans and tossed it over to Pete and watched him key a number in before throwing it back over to him.

“Now that that’s done. We need to talk about your obligation to the group.”

“Excuse me?” Ryan asked.

“You need to take something from someone every week and give it to Greta.”

“Wait… you want me to steal from people?” Ryan demanded. He wasn’t about to sign up for that crap.

“Chill. You can fucking ask someone for something. Or you can find it on the floor, idiot.” Patrick said. “Where the fuck do you think that opened chapstick I gave Greta came from? I literally found it in the men’s room in the three hundred building.”

“That’s disgusting!” Ryan made a face.

“It is disgusting. But I was really busy last week. Had like three million papers I had to finish and turn in. And anyway dude, you don’t have to steal anything. As long as it’s not yours, Greta can use it for you. And we’re not talking expensive shit. It can be like a pen you found on the floor. Or you can ask someone for gum or whatever.”

“What exactly does Greta do with it?” Ryan asked warily. Now that he was going to get the answer to the question he had been pondering for the past week he wasn’t sure if he wanted it.

“Spell that transfers the excess popularity from the person it belonged to to you.” Pete explained simply. “We hooked up with Greta and the rest of the wiccans when we started at Northshore when we were like fourteen. We all became and stay popular this way. And we figured if we added a fourth to the group that it would be even better because we would be getting your excess of popularity every week too.”

“So it’s like black magic?” Okay, back up. Ryan was definitely not signing up for that. It sounded like major bad karma, you know; if he believed in karma.

Pete shook his head. “It’s not anything like that. There’s no mind control involved. All it does is transfer the little bit of the person that was left on the object from owning it to you. That gives you a little bit of someone’s likability which gives you excess likability which means people like you more. The only time it would fuck someone up is if you take from one person two weeks in row which would mean that you’re starting to actually dip into their actual person, not just the residual likability on the object you gave Greta. So don’t fucking do that Ryan.”

“You switch every week Ryan.” Patrick seconded Pete firmly, blue eyes hard. “We’re serious. You don’t mess with people. That’s probably why Zee doesn’t bother us and watches us so closely. Because she probably thinks we’re gonna mess with her. Because she was almost one of us.”

“Which we wouldn’t.” Pete cut in quickly. “I promise you. Nobody is messing with anyone. So… do you accept our invitation? Like I said you don’t have to steal from anyone. You can just find something on the ground or ask someone for something or whatever. As long as you don’t open your mouth about what I just told you.”

“I guess if I’m not stealing from anyone…” Ryan said quietly. “Yeah.”

“Good.” Gerard said. “Easy peasy pumpkin peasy. And we won’t even make you start for a couple weeks. We know you’ll probably want to see if Brendon actually likes you before you start with everything else.”

Ryan blushed.

“Oh Brendon likes him.” Patrick said. The color in Ryan’s face darkened.

“Yeah, and from the way Ryan almost melted into a puddle when Brendon asked to sit with us today, I would say Ryan likes Brendon too. Good thing I’m not trying to get in your pants, right Ryan?” Pete laughed.

“Fuck off Pete.”

“You’re lucky I’m fucking starving and about to order a damn pizza to celebrate you joining us otherwise I wouldn’t fuck off.”


	4. Four

Four

 

screwyouimtall, lunchbox, and geewaythestarvingartist have been added to your friends list.

 

screwyouimtall: You finish that pizza yet, Ryan???

 

i_am_clandestine: Are we harboring feelings of denial toward our height, Pete? And fuck you. You guys are assholes. I'm gonna end up eating on the rest of that for like three days. I'm never eating normal pizza again.

 

screwyouimtall: How do you know I'm not Patrick? Nobody told you who's screen name was who's when we gave them to you. And you doubted Chicago deep dish. I thought it wasn't real pizza, Ryan??? I thought you agreed with Gerard and his New Jersey ass. ;)

 

lunchbox: Fuck you Pete. I think he can figure out that you're not Gerard. Gerard's name is in his im name. And you're lucky he left the rest of what was left with you Ryan. Pete can demolish one of those things by himself.

 

screwyouimtall: Are you giving me shit about eating an entire pizza??? I burn enough calories with soccer. And I'm fucking starving all the time.

 

screwyouimtall: And Ryan, you said you did hockey. Did you ever hit anyone with the stick???

 

i_am_clandestine: Guess that answers that. Thanks Patrick. And stop with the winky faces. Spencer fucking does that to me and it's really annoying.

 

i_am_clandestine: Also, you're not tall Pete.

 

i_am_clandestine: And Gerard is from New Jersey?

 

i_am_clandestine: And no Pete. I didn't hit anyone with the stick.

 

screwyouimtall: I take offense to that. I'm taller than Patrick.

 

screwyouimtall: And why not???

 

i_am_clandestine: Because hitting someone with the stick is illegal idiot. You can't raise it above your waist.

 

lunchbox: By an inch, idiot. Get over yourself.

 

screwyouimtall: Aw. Where's the fun in hockey if you can't hit someone with the stick???? And Gerard is from New Jersey. Only moved here a few years ago. Where the hell do you think he gets that weird accent you sometimes hear?

 

i_am_clandestine: You have a weird accent Pete. You're not one to talk.

 

screwyouimtall: I do not. I don't have an accent.

 

i_am_clandestine: Okay. You go ahead and believe that if it helps you sleep better. But I'm the only one in this entire group that speaks like a normal person.

 

i_am_clandestine: Moving on. What is up with that Elizabeth chick and you guys? You never really gave me much of an explanation.

 

screwyouimtall: No explanation to give. She was with us for a little while after Frank. Stopped hanging out with us when Gerard was like pms-ing or something with Frank. Pretty sure she's friends with Frank now.

 

i_am_clandestine: So then what's up with Gerard and Frank then?

 

lunchbox: I'd stay away from that if I were you.

 

i_am_clandestine: Okay.

 

lunchbox: Frank was with us until halfway through sophomore year. Gerard's eating disorder was getting really bad at that point. The two had been dating for a while, for like the entire last half of freshman year and then the summer after it. Gerard really liked him and I think Frank really liked Gerard too but he couldn't watch Gerard continue being bulimic and they got in this huge fuckin' knock down drag out fight about Gerard being bulimic and shit and fucking Frank ended up just telling Gerard's parents what was going on with that.

 

i_am_clandestine: Oh SHIT.

 

screwyouimtall: Yeah. Not pretty. Gerard was fucking pissed. Broke up with Frank. Ended up in the mental hospital during like the second to last semester of 10th grade. He barely passed everything last year because of that and he was in outpatient groups all summer.

 

i_am_clandestine: So Zee has a problem with you guys because of Gerard's relationship problems? That's kinda weird.

 

lunchbox: No. Her problem was when Gerard got back into school for the last few months of 10th grade and kind of went on this bitter break up war path and started using Frank for you KNOW, like every week. Remember what Pete told you about that. He didn't keep anything secret about it. Anyway, it took FOREVER for us to get Gerard to stop doing that. Pete eventually had to threaten to kick him out of the group. I guess we didn't stop it fast enough for Zee.

 

screwyouimtall: So she left us. Frank had to leave right after Gerard went into treatment to keep the peace between us all. Anyway, we thought we had Gerard under control but he would go to Frank for a couple weeks, we would notice and say something, he would stop. Then he would end up starting again and we would have to deal with it. Patrick and me managed to keep it from getting too bad. Like he wouldn't be able to go to Frank more than three weeks in a row without us stopping it and making him rotate.

 

i_am_clandestine: So that's why Zee was telling me I was going to get screwed over like Frank when she was talking to me at Saporta's party.  
screwyouimtall: Yep. 

 

lunchbox: Frank's a good guy you know. It would have just been really awkward for him to keep hanging out with us after what had happened with him and Gerard.


	5. Five

Five

"You like the movie?"

"Yeah. But I can't believe you took me to a horror movie on the first date. I'm surprised you didn't try to do that one arm around me thing."

Brendon may not have gotten to make out with him but he did end up doing a lot of holding Ryan's hand in the dark of the theater that Thursday night. "It was tempting Ryan. And you've gotta admit that was pretty subpar. You know their budget had to have been like eighty-seven cents so making out would have been more fun."

"Yeah. I was gonna tell you. Next time I pick the movie."

"Oh. So that means there will be a next time." Brendon grinned. "My shitty horror movie got the guy."

"Your shitty horror movie got the guy." Ryan confirmed. "Though I'm not sure how." He laughed. "It was really bad."

"It was. But it did get the guy. And that was the idea. And since it got the guy, can I kiss the guy? You don't know how hard it was not to in there."

"You're lucky this isn't 1954 or something. I think hand holding and kissing in one night would be too x rated. But yes, you can kiss me."

Brendon's kissing was as good as his looks, even if they were kissing on a jammed Chicago sidewalk outside of the theater and trying to shrink away from the many passerbys at the same time. Ryan didn't even care. He could have kissed Brendon all night.

"This is probably a total mood killer," Brendon said when he let go of Ryan and Ryan was shocked by the loss of his body heat and mouth along with the autumn chill, "and I would really like standing here and making out with you much better but we should probably stop before one of these people yells at us to get a room or something."

A surge seemed to pass through Ryan because of Brendon's making out comment. If one kiss was that good then what was making out with this boy going to be like? Now Ryan really wanted to find out. This crush was going to be the end of him. He was completely infatuated. He knew he was most likely blushing.

"Do you like, wanna eat something?" Brendon asked, interrupting Ryan's little internal moment.

"Yeah. But I don't think I can handle pizza again for a little while. Pete kind of killed me with that one from Pequod's on Monday."

_ _ _

"Ryan, why are you so happy today? I saw you when you came into English. This is school. Oh wait, did you get the guy?" Pete immediately started grilling Ryan when Ryan met him and the others during their lunch period Friday.

"Pete."

"Ryan did get the guy!"

"Why wouldn't Ryan get the guy? I'd heard people saying that "that Ryan Ross guy or whatever his name is might be hotter than Pete Wentz." Gerard contributed.

"Yeah okay Gerard."

"I'm serious Pete. You better watch out."

"Yeah whatever. Ask Patrick. Nobody's on my level. Not even Ryan."

"Would you shut up? I have Chemistry next period. I have to finish balancing these stupid equations." Patrick didn't even look up from the notebook he was working from.

"Sounds like Patrick thinks Ryan's hotter than you."

"Shut up Gerard." Pete said and then changed the subject, ending it. "So Ryan got the guy. Good for you. But did you get that other thing you need to get?"

"Yeah. No. I've been busy getting the guy."

"Well, get it by the end of next week. Earlier not later would be better. And don't think you're gonna do that thing that Zee once tried when she was pissed at Gerard. You can't use your own shit. Doesn't work. We'll know the difference." Pete warned.

"And don't think you're getting anything off of me because she started trying to do that after using her own shit to mess with the three of us didn't work." Gerard added.

_ _ _

Ryan actually dialed Spencer's number into his cell phone instead of texting him after he had eaten dinner that Friday.

"Ryan. Why are you calling me on the phone? You don't call me on the phone. We don't talk on the phone."

"Spence. Can you please not give me attitude."

"At least you didn't im me at 2:30am like you did last week. We are in different time zones Ryan. And I don't know why you were up at like six in the morning when you have a curfew of like one and should have talked to me at a normal hour like a normal person. Actually, nevermind. You were too busy being a girl over Brendon. I just can't believe you managed to do that for like four hours."

"Stop acting like you weren't up anyway. And we gotta talk about shit."

"So you called me? On the phone? Why didn't you just text me?"

"God Spence. I called you on the phone. Yes. I called you on your actual phone which can be used for more than just texting which I know surprises you."

"Um, I'm not the one who texts so much that my phone has to practically be surgically amputated to get me to do anything else. And why?"

"Because Pete and Patrick and Gerard hang out with wiccans and they do weird shit."

"You called me on the phone to tell me that wiccans do weird shit? Unbelievable. I never would have known wiccans do weird shit if you hadn't called me and told me Ryan."

"Will you shut the hell up? I'm not finished."

"Are you gonna tell me now that wiccans think they can do magic?"

"Spencer. Shut up and listen to me."

When his best friend finally did shut up Ryan told Spencer the entire story and mess of Greta and the guys' instant popularity ritual.

When he finished, Spencer wasn't impressed. "So you did just want to tell me wiccans think they can actually do spells and shit."

"Spencer."

Spencer sighed. "Ryan. You don't actually believe this shit, do you? Jeez. If you're not doing anything illegal and having delusions that you can do magic is not illegal, and you want to play along even though I have no idea why you would want to play along, they're clearly a bunch of potheads, then fucking play along."

_ _ _

The item Ryan found, after feeling too weird for every day of the following school week until Wednesday morning to psych himself up to actually ask someone for something to use in a ritual that he knew Spencer was probably right about being complete and total bullshit, he found completely by accident. 

It was a stepped on post it note on the floor by one of the English classrooms in the five hundred building. He plunked it down in the middle of the lunch table that day the second he got there after AP English before Pete or any of them could ask if he had gotten anything for the millionth time that week.

"Finally." Gerard complained. "Unless this isn't it."

"Oh, what? It's a hook up note? Ramos. Thursday. 2:45. Meet me in the bathrooms of the history wing after class, Ross." Pete waggled his eyebrows.

"Pete. That's disgusting." Patrick made a face. "The bathrooms of the history wing?"

Pete shrugged. "People deal drugs in there. I'm sure they have sex too."

"That's gross."

"I didn't say it wasn't Patrick. I didn't say I was having sex in the six hundred building. I just said some people do."

"There's nothing on it about people having sex in the six hundred building bathrooms." Ryan interrupted. "Or me having sex with anyone in the six hundred building bathrooms."

"Chill Ryan. Nobody here thinks you're having sex in the six hundred building men's room." Gerard told him. "Especially after last year when the plumbing in one of the toilets in there burst and the whole building smelled like shit."

"I think it's just some reminder for a like a conference or something." Ryan said, wanting to get away from the hooking up in school bathrooms discussion before it really could be implied that he would get involved in that activity.

"Well, whatever it is, if it isn't yours it works. I'll get Greta over here." Pete pulled his phone out. "She won't get around to the stuff until her free period before lunch tomorrow though."

_ _ _

During AP English on Thursday, Ryan shot bolt upright. He felt a strange almost electrical shock in his veins. It only last two seconds tops but he felt like a pulsing energy had been forced into his body. 

Then he felt his phone vibrating against his side.

He carefully and slowly took it out as not to attract any attention to and risk having it taken and read the new text message.

Pete: Greta finished with the note. You're officially one of us.


End file.
